My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
