My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
