Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
