At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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