there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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