remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
