apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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