Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
