Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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