dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Please, let me fuck your mom
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
