I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
