porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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