party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
