I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize