I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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