I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
