guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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