Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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