The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize