The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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