My cat gives me a boner
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
