so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
