PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
