Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
