But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
