come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Green mimosas i think yes
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
