there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
