Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
