So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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