got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
