That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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