I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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