her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize