THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
