I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize