I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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