Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
