Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
