if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize