I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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