I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
