one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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