Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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