the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
