got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
