It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
