Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
