She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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