i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
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