i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
