wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
