Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
