GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's rum buckets o'clock
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
