I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
