he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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