I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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