k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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