Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

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(812): View more from Indiana

there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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(813): View more from Florida

Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning

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(315): View more from New York

I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.

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