Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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