We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
