i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
