So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When are your genitals available?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
