Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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