..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
