I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
