We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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