How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
