If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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