Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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