did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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