Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
