I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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